My thoughts: bare and bold.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

'Tis never too late to celebrate Heart's Day.

February 18, 2012. Because we weren't able to really "celebrate" last February 14, he told me that he wanted us to have a post-valentine's day date. I agreed since it was our first heart's day together and I thought it would be sad if we will not go out on a date.

We had lunch at our favorite pizza parlor, Yellow Cab. We ordered our favorite pizza flavor, Barbecue Chicken Pizza. As usual, we enjoyed the sweetness of the barbecue sauce and the tenderness of the chunks of chicken together with the freshness of chopped parsley. With happy stomachs, we left the place and went to Moonleaf and Simple Line to buy our favorites: Hakka Milk Tea and Wintermelon Milk Tea, respectively. (While typing this post, I am craving for wintermelon milk tea! This is bad.) After buying, we went to the movie house to watch The Vow. We had the urge to cry but we were both pretending to be masculine so we didn't burst into tears. Haha! It was a feel good movie though the ending left me hanging.

Playing with the camera while waiting for our food

We're in our senior year... senior high school! Haha.

Look at that yummmmmmmmmmy pizza!!

With our favorite!

The Vow tickets!

What else feels better than good food, good drink and good movie with my favorite boy?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Fine. Fresh. Happy and in love.

I would just like to share what my high school classmate and friend, Liezel P. Dagami, has told me on Tumblr:

It's really heart-warming to receive comments like this especially from people who really know me.
See you soon, Lizzy!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Carefree and Trusting

Products of yesterday I tried so hard to escape from. Fruits of the events that crushed me into pieces.

Bury the past. Enjoy the present. Don't worry about the future.

I want to be scared no more.

I want to learn again how to give it all without the fear of being hurt and unreciprocated. I need to accept that the only permanent thing is change; ergo things will definitely change in time and I have to deal and to adapt with these changes. I need to learn how to let go to know how tight and how long I could hold on. I have to learn to keep distance without worrying of losing affinity.

Forever is such a big and strong word. It's hard-earned; thus, it needs to go under the test of time and distance.

I'm starting to get what I need and what I want. I'm starting to get myself back again. You helped me start picking myself up. I know you'll be there for me throughout the process. And I hope you'll stay even after this major overhaul I'm undergoing. None of the great things that will happen to me would matter without you.

PS: I am not crazy over him; I am in love and I am trying to be expressive online as I am not in person. Believe me; I am not expressive. I'm actually almost always apathetic though it doesn't seem that way to a lot of people.

Can't we just mind our own lives?

I'm sorry but you do not have the right to judge me.

You do not know where I'm coming from. Well, okay... You may know but for sure you do not understand because if you do, you will not act like that. It is not acceptable to tell me right in front of my face (or even behind my back) what you think about me (which is obviously based from your little knowledge about me) and how you think I should live my life. You only know my name; not my story. You weren't there when sorrow and happiness happened to me. You weren't beside me all the time so you really do not know what happened and what is going on. You cannot force me (nor any other person) to act like and to be like the person you want me to be. You cannot just impose whatever you believe in into other people's minds.

Enough said. I hope you already got my point. I wouldn't like to elaborate more for doing so is a waste of time.

Ending this post with the cliche: "If you think you already know me, well then, I guess you may have to think again."

Friday, February 10, 2012

Graduation's fast approaching!

In less than two months, as part of the tradition for Thomasian graduating students, I'll be exiting the Arch of the Centuries. In less than two months, I'll be wearing the Thomasian nurses' gala uniform under my toga. In less than two months, I'll be stepping on the newly built UST Sports Complex to claim my diploma. It's pleasing to hear that on March 30, 2012, finally after ten semesters, I will be graduating. Graduation, for me, is both an ending and a beginning. An ending because it ends my journey of being a typical student in school. After graduation, no more 7AM class, terror professors, happy-go-lucky classmates as well as GC classmates, bladder breaks and so on. On the other hand, graduation is a beginning. It begins my journey of being a student of life. Ooops. Wait. Wait. Wait. I'll stop here. This seems like a graduation speech already. My graduation speech will be posted of course on March or early April. You read that right. Yes, I will be making my graduation speech. Who says only the Valedictorian can make a speech?

Oh well. This post should be about my rants regarding what will happen to me after graduation. First of all, am I really ready to graduate? I guess not. I am not yet ready to let go of the student life I've had for the past sixteen years of my life because... Well, I really do not know. (Did I compute it right? I started schooling at the age of three. Now I'm nineteen so that's sixteen years of school. Okay, enough with math.) With that said, I guess I'm not yet ready to leave school. I do not know if I'm really not ready to leave school because I'm not ready holistically or I'm actually ready but I'm just in denial because I'm afraid to face the life after graduation. I do now know what lies ahead after March 30, 2012. Well, I'll be reviewing for board exams 'till June 2, 2012 then I'll be taking the board exam on June 30-July 31, 2012. Then maybe after a month, the results will be released. After that, hmmm... Okay, I do not know what's next. I want to continue to graduate school but I do not have yet the money to send myself to school. If I'll work, it would take me n number of years just to earn money for schooling. We all know that our country does not give "just" compensation for the work done by nurses. I don't want to go abroad. That is more scary. I also would like to enroll myself in a computer school to fulfill my desire of being married to computers. But again, I do not have money. I wouldn't like to ask my parents anymore to send me again to school. Sixteen years of expensive education is enough. I should be the one giving them back what they deserve after those sixteen long years.

I'm in doubt. I'm nervous. I'm worried. I'm scared. With all these things said, I will be ending this post with a deep sigh and a worried face.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

How much does a nurse make?

I saw this one on Facebook. Since I'm a nurse-in-the-making, this one deserves to be on my blog.

Somebody asked: "You're a nurse? That's cool, I wanted to do that when I was a kid. How much do you make?" The nurse replied: "HOW MUCH DO I MAKE?" ... I can make holding your hand seem like the most important thing in the world when you're scared. ... I can make your child breathe when they stop. ... I can help your father survive a heart attack. ... I can make myself get up at 5 am... to make sure your mother has the medicine she needs to live. ... I work all day to save the lives of strangers. ... I make my family wait for dinner until I know your family member is taken care of. ... I make myself skip lunch so that I can make sure that everything I did for your wife today is charted. ... I make myself work weekends and holidays because people don't just get sick Monday thru Friday. ... Today, I might save your life. ... How much do I make? All I know is, I make a difference.